I am in the palm of His hand.

It's been difficult to reflect lately. Too many days where things are "good" or "fine," or even "happy," bookmarked with days of utter chaos and hurt. I haven't been able to make sense of it in my own mind, much less formulate it into words that would make sense to others. So for now, here's what you should know: I'm living every day as it comes, which means I don't have a very firm grip on my own state of mind. I am very confused, and certainly going through the hardest time of my life. But I am strong, and I am supported by the most amazing group of people on the planet. I am not now, nor will I ever be, a victim. But sometimes life is really stinking hard, and this is one of those times. I appreciate each person who reads this and cares, and I appreciate all those who hold me up when I can hardly stand on my own. Thank you.

Reasons I love going home

1. There is tea, and I can drink it at the kitchen island, just like I used to drink my milk after school growing up.

2. The dog, Ella, stands on her front two paws when she pees. Both back feet in the air.

3. Mom and I can go grocery shopping and have more fun than anyone else would doing something so ordinary.

4. Dad can listen and give hugs and advice without a hint of judgement, no matter what.

5. "The Mountain" (Mt. Rainier) is beautifully powerful and it is the first sight that tells me I'm home.

It's a good place. It heals me minute by minute.