On Marriage

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.


Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.


Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

- Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

This poem contains more truth for me today than it did the last time I picked it up.

Indeed, we were born together, and together we shall be forevermore. Linked eternally.

In another chapter of The Prophet (On Love), Kahlil Gibran says that if you choose to live without love "you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears." In other words, love carries with it the extremes of human emotion--the highest highs and the lowest lows.

We joined together with such idealism and boundless love in our hearts. We celebrated our new life, and caught glimpses of a bright future together. We did not know how we would be tested. Marriage was created to be a reflection of the perfect love of God, and yet it must be lived out by people who are so far from that ideal. We are broken. We are selfish. We hurt each other.

As the prophet says, we need each other, but not for every breath. We must give to each other, but not lose ourselves in the process.

There is so much work to do, and the task feels awfully daunting...but today I choose to trust that there are untapped depths of love and grace that will spring from the ground and cover our steps as we journey together.