Marriage

It's been a fascinating year. Josh and I got married on July 12, 2008, and so far it's been pretty amazing, with some distinct rough patches to give it some "character" (Shabby chic is cool, right? My, our marriage is so fashionable!).

I view marriage almost as a living organism, independent from the two of us. We talk about "our marriage" as if it were a third party that needs constant attention. We check in on it often, find out how it's doing, what we can do to more thoroughly satisfy its needs. Each of us may be happy with our jobs, our activities, our friends, and everything else in our individual lives, but if we haven't spent enough time paying attention to our marriage, things get seriously off-kilter.

Marriage is the best gift I've ever received, and it's still a huge mystery to me. Josh and I are vastly different from each other in terms of personality, which makes things difficult at times, but mostly it allows us to fill in each other's gaps and shortcomings. When I need to lighten up, he's silly; when he lacks motivation, I give him a push in the right direction. I don't really understand how it has worked out so well, but I'm thankful for the mysterious, almost supernatural quality of this relationship.

Marriage is also hard. Never before have my faults been so clear to me; my pride, stubbornness, capacity for grudge-holding, perfectionism...rarely does Josh actually point these things out to me, but they become evident to me when I see his humility, flexibility, graciousness, and laid back nature. He has faults of his own, of course, but when it comes down to it, I've struggled with myself much more than I've struggled with him. I've struggled to let go when I think I'm right, to sacrifice more of myself, to value his well-being as much as I value my own. To be honest, I'm not sure I've made much progress in any of those areas, but the growth has begun. This is what makes the whole marriage experience both so difficult and so important. It is chiseling away my imperfections and turning me into a person I never could have become without the constant rub of my husband's presence.

I'm thankful for the past year. I'm thankful for where we are today, and for where we will be next year. And I'm so thankful that God gives us the ability to be better together than we would be apart.